There is an alternative to Pro in performance car terms it is called the sleeper. Plain black Knicks Plain Santini or Uno single coloured jersey Plain socks
Shoes and helmet with no brand name
The big difference of the sleeper is that he looks quiet and not pro till he passes you at an average speed the likes you could never concieve does not hold wheels as that would slow him down and does not stop for a 4 dollar coffee when he can have instant at home
Steffo
· 1 month ago
Please refrain from placing the Santini and Uno brands in the same sentance. Any Uno branded clothing is almost as PRO as footy shorts and a Rip Cool rash vest. The only time an Uno jersey will be seen passing you is...never
Cheste
· 1 month ago
Ill remember that next time i pass ya your missing the point the sleeper goes out of his way not to look pro :)
gm
· 1 month ago
try the sleeper move of passing a PRO dressed group on beach road in mixed gear and on a mountain bike....
Pugno
· 1 month ago
you guys miss the point, a true pro sometimes rides slow on purpose... ask urself this, do you wheel suck on beach rd when passed? if the answer is 'yes', most likely u are not pro
note: a hot shot sleeper will 99% look pro, regardless if he is wearing a non matching kit due to their position on the bike, and the way they pedal.
Me
· 1 month ago
Love the sleeper comparo. I use and subscribe to it all the time!
JC
· 1 month ago
Chester,
I agree, the sleeper is out there. Often he is a convert from another endurance sport (i.e. running) and has 6-12 months hardcore cycling under his belt. Despite his apparent unproness he can surprise you with a withering attack up a short shallow hill. Some sleepers have been known to put out up to 500 watts for as long as 5 minutes. It's not unheard of for sleepers to sport fury legs in the infancy of their switch to cycling
Bob
· 1 month ago
The biggest mistake you can make is to dress unproportionally to your ability. If you have pasty white hairy legs and a beer gut - none of the above will help - in fact it will only make things worse.
So, to tone down the above: - shoes - comfort is the key. Any colour is fine - no-one cares. Try them on. - black shorts are acceptable (high quality, bib only), and will actually help create more versatile wardrobe, as they won't clash with any jersey. - pro colours are fine - but the more subtle the better. - socks - anklets are fine. It's actually "Australian" to wear short socks. Only Euro-wannabees wear high socks here. - avoid world colours and lance colours - not deserved and not worth it. - helmet - cheap does look bad, so above advise is good.
My advice is to just relax and enjoy your riding. There's so much to learn about the actual riding that the clothing side of it will just take care of itself.
cyclingTips
· 1 month ago
In all seriousness to the original question, you hit the nail on the head Bob.
Sven
· 1 month ago
Lighten up a bit Bob!
agnosia
· 1 month ago
A more appropriate question is how do i RIDE like a pro. Who the hell cares if you LOOK like a pro.
bonesx
· 1 month ago
first thou must commit the dictionary to memory...
Surely: - plain black bibshorts - or even woollen shorts if one is truly hardcore - are allowable combinations (indeed the only combinations) with an old school wool long or short sleeve jersey (save for Molteni replicas which are prohibited); and - wired spectacles are allowable IF one accompanies it with a Laurent Fignon-style receding hairline and ponytail.
huphtur
· 1 month ago
No matter how PRO it may look, I refuse to wear High-cuff socks. Not PRO > Dork!
mrcyclingworld
· 1 month ago
Do I smell a hint of a Pandora's Box being opened? hehe
Eddie Relin
· 1 month ago
I was also thinking that surely you can't go wrong with plain black bibs
CT - I'm pretty certain I saw you on the boulevard last night. o2 kits look good!
cyclingTips
· 1 month ago
Agreed, you can't go wrong with plain black, but the quality of the plain black bibs is the subtle difference in PRO and not PRO
Thanks - the new O2 kit is Over-The-Top PRO (so pro that I can barely handle it!)
It's easy. Just use lengthy and witty similes and metaphors.
Ribs
· 1 month ago
Ha! I was thinking about this post this morning on my way to work, and thought, know what? BSNYC's picked on the fixed guys for too long. Roadies are equally, if not MORE deserving of his ridicule.
Steve
· 1 month ago
You can be Pro all you like, I'd much rather be Euro - and for those rules you need to follow the group on Facebook. 60+ nuggets of goodness on how to look exceptional on the bike, ranging from acceptable hair styles to which brands you should be buying. And, yes, Capoforma clothing is endorsed...
cyclingTips
· 1 month ago
yes, as you can see I tried to copy their writing style. Brilliant!
Justin Morris
· 1 month ago
Damn... Now I have to replace my Met.
JD
· 1 month ago
I was a bit disappointed as well to read about the Metz criticism. My Metz was not cheap by any stretch and I in fact quite like my helmet. Tis comfortable and I think it looks alright for the riding I do. Go the Metz! haha
JC
· 1 month ago
Oh crap, I just realised how un-pro i really am. I know non bib knicks are a cardinal sin but can i get an exemption for mid week after work evening rides where pre-ride and post-ride time is limited. I like to soak and hang dry my favourite PRO knicks after each wear and this is not always possible during the week. On the other hand my plain black bibless numbers just get chucked in the corner awaiting their next torture session.
MtbSkillsCoachPat
· 1 month ago
This self confessed 'cross dresser' ie road&MTB was responsible for wearing MTB shoes and having XTR pedals on my road bike for a long time. My reasoning was that I only needed 1 pair of shoes. Glad I got over being a tight arse, cause the instant power gain from getting carbon road shoes and pedals was huge, as was the instant 'pro feeling' haha.
All very funny stuff WW, can we have a weekly 'Looking Pro' post, there is so much good humour and banter in them.
Adrian Miles
· 1 month ago
How times have changed. When I actually was a real roadie (but never much good), when we had clips, and lycra was superbly exotic, the rules were different. If you could buy a euro jersey for training then this was seriously impressive (you couldn't race in them, no signage at all in those days in the amateurs). Being colour coordinated and the rest would have caused mirth and serious questioning of your sexuality. To turn out to training in full euro replica, apart from being not possible (no one sold it), just would have been, well. Imagine you play footy. You turn up to footy training dressed perfectly like Brendan Fevola. Instead of what ever pair of shorts were clean at the time, perhaps the club jumper (but not compulsory), some socks which might not match and some trackie pants. Turning up like an elite fully paid professional footy player for training, well you'd just be a dickhead and sort of not get that its Tuesday night footy training followed by the barbie. That's how I still respond to full team kit. If you aren't paid to wear it, you don't. And it is ok to mix and match a bit for the same reason as the footy example. You've got a few sets of knicks, jumpers, mitts, bidons, and since you're only going training for christ's sake you put on what's at hand. You might like and want to look like the pros, but you have to earn that, and most of them in all that shop or team kit are doing it because they get it for free. Same reason you don't wear a rainbow jersey unless you earnt it. That'd be like turning up to footy training with an imitation brownlow round your neck. I mean, how fast can you say dickhead?
JC
· 1 month ago
Are you saying I should stop wearing my imitation brownlow?
Rouleur
· 1 month ago
LMAO - could guilty of one of these!
Has anyone seen the Phil Anderson look alike riding Beach Road recently? circa 80's fluoro frame, White Bell Helmet, long curly brown hair.
Tim
· 1 month ago
The ice cream bucket helmet? Yep, I have! There was a dude rocking a very retro bright green GAN top in the NRR ride I think yesterday.
It's like there's an underground BFB (Bring Flouro Back) or FOR (Flouro or Die) movement afoot.
Rouleur
· 1 month ago
Spot on Tim - that's him!
Rouleur
· 1 month ago
PS: Only seen him a couple of times, he looks kinda cool in a retro kind a way
rovers2001
· 1 month ago
You guys have to keep at eye out when in Adelaide for the TourDownUnder next year. We have the all time classic down at Glenelg...
Homemade one piece white lycra TT suit...with no padding or double thickness material where it should be... Not a good sight when he's excited to see the shop boys turn up for coffee and is on for a chat...
Blackbeard's Delight
· 1 month ago
Avast ye maties, but I do smell the waft of a humour-laden post. Scurvy ridden as it is.
Arrr, well do I delight upon gazing with amazement at that fellow pirate and adventurer of the high-tarmac, Cippolini. He was the business. In other words, he was, The Balls.
If you wear high cut socks, you will be like Big Talls Socks Brett.
Your failure to include the King Pirate Sunglasses of them all - the M Frame - does bespeek ill of your taste Sir. I shall allow this one glaring oversight, only once. Otherwise, prepare to be boarded and surrender yonder booty, arrrrr.
who is this guy wearing black socks and black SPD mountain shoes? he's such a poser...what a noob!
Rouleur
· 1 month ago
holy crap I need a new wardrobe
Me
· 1 month ago
Pro - Wearing green Giro climbers jersey to a crit :)
Pro but wanker alert - white arm warmers
Not Pro - yellow Netti rain jacket
Spencer24
· 1 month ago
never mock the yellow netti rain jacket. it kicks ass!
Ian Donaldson
· 1 month ago
It's a good article, but the word you are looking for is "dons", not "dawns."
cyclingTips
· 1 month ago
Thanks Ian! I was looking everywhere for the correct spelling with no avail.
Tim
· 1 month ago
a couple of small typos - "Having formally been a fairly keen golfer ..." should be "Having formerly etc ..." unless he was wearing a tux to the links.
and "shan't" rather than "shalln't"
great post, thanks!
cam
· 1 month ago
capo socks so 2007 DMT shoes so 2005 White shoes are now out and replaced by yellow or red shoes
youre so last year
cyclingTips
· 1 month ago
You got me. Busted!
Shoes and socks on order. It won't happen again sir.
Total crack up! Loved it. I'm glad I didn't start riding with you guys though or I would have been mocked til I gave up and did triathlon or something...
I started bunch rides with Illawarra Cycle Club on a flat bar Avanti commuter wearing mtb shoes and a t shirt, and a red $60 mtb helmet with a VISOR!!! Ewwww. But they let me in and I've never looked back. Of course, over time I've learned to look PRO - and now that I've got my 5 new descent black bibs, white special edition Liquigas SIDI's and new road helmet (cost $200) I'm feelin' pretty PRO!
Great post CT. Best humour post in a while
Justin Coulson
· 1 month ago
Went for a ride this morning in one of 5 new Descente BLACK bibs... felt very conscious of it and it seemed horribly NOT PRO. Damn! Gonna be a while before I've worn 5 of these bibs out. Perhaps I'll grow my leg hairs and try for the sleeper look instead.
Justin L
· 1 month ago
Those of us less well-resourced in the hair department can't abide by the no-cap-in summer rule, unless we want a head like a chess board (those expensive Giro helmets let a lot of sun through those massive vents!)
Tommy_P
· 1 month ago
Agreed. I always wear one.. also keeps the sweat out of your eyes.
Rouleur
· 1 month ago
Love the cap - sweat, sun!
Ribs
· 1 month ago
Furthermore, I find that the caps keep the line of sun off your face between your glassed and your helmet.
TMcG
· 1 month ago
yes! caps always, I don't want sunblock in my eyes!
EPO
· 1 month ago
does this mean that Lance isnt PRO with his black shoes?
cyclingTips
· 1 month ago
Lance is above PRO. He can pretty much get away with anything.
mrcyclingworld
· 1 month ago
Haha. Dare I say he probably does!
Ash
· 1 month ago
he just cant do it with style..
Nat
· 1 month ago
black socks are an absolute no no. Lance or not.
JC
· 1 month ago
Black is the new white. Although only the true pros can pull it off. Unless the rest of your kit is pro to the max you'll look like you're wearing your old school shoes
jeff
· 1 month ago
No mix-matched pro kits allowed.... not cool, infact the worst thing ever. And black bibs, dunno, if you wear a team jersey and black bibs, you just look like a cheap-skate. I am not "euro" due to my low socks, but matching kits are a must.
Stephen Baxter
· 1 month ago
I now realise that my Kit is 'ok ' , but my Helmet must go. Please GOD make Christmas a reality, as the wife will not allow any more bike related purchases.
Honest I have been Good!
JC
· 1 month ago
Stephen,
To get the green light on endless cycling related expenses you need to make sure that your wife is having fun while you're cycling. This is not easy, but can be achieved. I recommend encouraging your wife to do her favourite things during the times you're out on the bike (i.e. shopping) Send her out with the credit card while you head off on the bike. If you're lucky like me you might even be married to a window shopper who doesn't spend any money. Once she gets used to these regular shopping trips she'll feel compelled to keep all your cycling needs met. She may even get up to speed on PRO cycling apparel and do your cycling shopping for you. If so, all the better.
Notverypro
· 1 month ago
This is very depressing..... Must go shopping.
JLala
· 1 month ago
Haha!!
Long live the sleeper, he's out there somewhere.
Dave
· 1 month ago
Nothing worse than a rider wearing an item of clothing that sports a bike brand different to their own bike. For example: Giant jersey, but Specialized bike... Not cool.
GeoffreyP
· 1 month ago
Damn, second reply was deleted. Was going to say: Replying twice to a thread, SO not Pro. :)
Now I don't look PRO. God.
cyclingTips
· 1 month ago
that's my fault. Some comments are showing up twice. Not PRO on my part!
Rouleur
· 1 month ago
I agree, and disagree.
Team sponsors change seasonally. But yes agree must be some association there.
Any jersey with unashamed bike branding Not PRO.
singlespeedcam
· 1 month ago
What about the ladies!!! i think most women cyclists need a few tips on how to look pro....and not like Longo or Kathy Watt...dare i say
AB
· 1 month ago
I would think that the same rules should apply!
Not PRO - Hairy Legs PRO - Smooth, shiny and tanned calves :)
haitch
· 1 month ago
I am very fair and to avoid frying I usually wear a long-sleeve jersey and tights, even when it's hot. Have been wearing protective clothes in summer forever and a day so the increased heat doesn't really bother me, but what is the PRO stance on this??
raphaandy
· 1 month ago
Haitch This used to be the PRO way,train in leg & arm warmers unless very very hot,many still say keep on the leg warmers up to at least 20C.
A big no is embrocation for training,leg warmers it mst be
cyclingTips
· 1 month ago
Listen to this guy folks. PRO advice straight from heart of Belgium.
haitch
· 1 month ago
Thank you andy - heartening to know that I have been unwittingly working the PRO look!
Felto
· 1 month ago
Speaking of looking Pro, what happened with the idea for a Cycling Tips jersey and bibs?
Your logo is pretty sweet CT and I'd gladly give you some free advertising while also looking seriously Euro Pro...
cyclingTips
· 1 month ago
Good eye Felto. The CT kit has been put into production and is a few weeks away. I'm holding off unveiling it before I either get a good concept drawing together or I can get some real life photos. These things never look good in the panel layout drawings.
I can say that the kit will have a retro flavor to it with all PRO considerations taken into the design. Anyone will look good in it!
Cam99
· 1 month ago
There is something very cool about being Non-Pro in look but riding very powerfully.....
This extends down to the bike level an includes the shaving of legs. Cycling is about matching your appearence and gear to your performance. There should be a series of performance tests done when we purchase key aspects of clothing or bike gear - For exampe to upgrade your gearing from Ultegra to Dura-Ace you should have to reach a VO2 max of 63. One must always strive to maintain a performance level in check with the gear. All power to the Apollo's, old School Malvern Stars & hard rubbish bikes who can out perform the Pro Clad >$5000 Carbon Roadies. Each rider must find their own comfort zone in the price v's performace stakes ...but its really uncool to look the goods and ride like crap
dboskee
· 1 month ago
Wow. I'm not sure you have it right here. I've been riding the roads seriously since the mid 80's. There's nothing better than coming up on a group of "decked out" riders on a hill, and pulling past them when you're dressed in a t-shirt, gym shorts (of course I wear Canari padded underwear underneath), Costco socks and a raggy old leather helmet. They always try to keep up, but seldom can. I ride my old beater in Hawaii in shorts, t-shirt and flip flops (slippers) and love pulling up to someone at a light on a fancy Colnago all decked out and leaving them in the dust. What you wear isn't important, it's the love of riding.
mellowvelo
· 1 month ago
I agree with Cam99. I think of it this way: Looking uber PRO - talent or speed = tool
I only look better than I am because I know how to shop for a bargain. It's gotten my ass kicked on group rides because I look too fast for my abilities.
BUT, it is a bit of a confidence boost when riding alone.
Craig
· 1 month ago
I think there is a difference between PRO when racing and PRO when training. Of course, real PROs have endless supplies of matching kit and a soignier to launder for them, however, I think unearned but obscure jerseys are quite PRO. In my collection are a Japan national team jersey and a tour of poland leaders jersey. I think this has an element of 'PRO in the off season not wanting to draw attention at the cafe with full team kit.'
I also think that one must avoid Jerseys matching one's bike brand. This is an instant sign of a Fred. The exception is if one is a current world road racing champion who has signed with a factory road team.
kors
· 1 month ago
Unless I have missed it there is one important FAIL not here - riding deep dish wheels training or at a club race.
Rouleur
· 1 month ago
Have I also missed clip on Aero bars?
Pugno
· 1 month ago
riding deep dish tubs is pro, deep dish clinchers and you're a hack. will also depend on brand. anything less than 3.5k is rubbish.
another tip is to wear a vest, to hide the moderate beer gut from winter hibernation ;-)
you forgot about stem length mr tips ;-)
Blue Bullet
· 1 month ago
Socks and Shoes = Semi PRO White Shoe Covers matching rest of team kit = PRO
AMR
· 1 month ago
CT,
As mentioned before, white shoes are so gone!!! Pros were wearing them because they were given, or got paid to wear them... And, sorry, your socks are way too long. Trust me, I am a friend! But bloody hell, where did you get those calf muscles from??? Cheers, A.
Andrew Clark
· 1 month ago
Having the Cycling Tips logo on the back of your jersey- PRO!! But WW, why is only on the back of the long sleeve jersey, and not on the short sleeve or windvest of the new O2 kit???
Having the most stand out colored bike in the peloton in bright red and yellow, and matching it with similar colored gloves and shoes - Extreme PRO
Campagnolo - PRO Shimano or SRAM - so far from PRO
SRM - Rich!!!!!!!!
Tim
· 1 month ago
Clarky you are such a monga, I swear to God. Campag schmampag. It's not going to save you this weekend. Or up the Tourmalet in L'Etape.
Dan
· 1 month ago
Just bought a brand new pair of Capo Euro Socks Black and White this morning from Total Rush Richmond. Now show me start line!!!!!
Me
· 1 month ago
But what about shop kits?
Are they Pro or not.
cyclingTips
· 1 month ago
Great question with no easy answer. It all has to do with how good the design and graphics are. I've seen some outstanding ones and I've seen some hideous ones.
GDWheeler
· 1 month ago
My cycling club has blue/pink kit and the only helmet that matches that is the Lampre team Specialized helmet. So what colour should the helmet be so that i don't look like a fool in a team replica helmet?
Tim
· 1 month ago
Wade, you have (probably not) egregiously left out the one thing that had to be mentioned.
The gaper.
The person who wears non-bibbed knicks and then proceeds to show all and sundry the gap between the top of the (usually plain black Netti) knicks and ill fitting jersey.
Particularly horrendous if donned by a Hairy Man Back.
*shudder*
The gaper is a travesty best eliminated from the roads, our lexicon and memories!
I shall also submit the Bum Mesher. This is the person who thinks it is acceptable, nay, desirable (!) to wear knicks with a cutout above the top of the derriere crack, with a mesh insert in the hope that they may evacuate the hot air away from said bottom crack. Always forgetting the poor souls left in their wake, their eyes irrevocably drawn to That Hole, *shudder*, which despite your best efforts, has the same gravitational pull strength of a black hole, but without the blissful ending (destruction into anti matter) because you are stuck Wishing, Hoping, that that person will move Out Of The Way.
HORRIBLE.
Respectfully, timbo
Rouleur
· 1 month ago
Ha ha!
May I also submit the 'See Through Bum' Usually an older rider; a sleeper; someone whom is getting back on the saddle after a hiatus; or someone whom has no regard for themselves or fellow riders; - This person rides with a pair of well worn knicks which have been owned for centuries and have been through the wash more times than they've had rides. These knicks are usually transparent allowing those behind to see all and sundry and in direct sunlight you can see what one has had for breakfast. Usually cheaper brand knicks or lighter colours are culprits, however 'See Through Bum' does not discriminate.
Not changing your knicks every season or two - Not PRO!
Jack
· 1 month ago
Not PRO = wheel sucking a gaper. Gapers should never be a problem as you shouldn't be on their wheel - unless they are a Sleeper-Gaper?
Tim
· 1 month ago
Excellent submission sir! I am interested in your ideas and would like to subscribe to your e-zine.
The See Through is, to be sure, a travesty of nature, however, I think we can all agree, if it's a particularly attractive member of the fairer, gentler sex, then we can of course, make an exception, can we not?
lauren
· 1 month ago
Okay, so I really need a new helmet...
But now the choice is a new helmet or new tyres. Curses!!
A serious question: how do I know when to replace my knicks? I've come back to cycling after buying a decent bike for my budget for my daily commutes and I've got some 3/4 length knicks. I like to think I take proper care of them, washing them after each ride in wool wash. I don't want to be one of the dreaded bum meshers - ick!!
Chester
· 1 month ago
Lauren when polite hellos turn into wolf whistles and howles it is time to replace your knicks as the mesh may be a slight thin:)
Tim
· 1 month ago
I concur. If you have the sunshine behind you, and a several guys following respectfully along behind your behind, then ma'am, something may be afoot!
Leigh-anne
· 1 month ago
Thou shall not wear a skinsuit out on a 75 km bunch training ride......to my horror after the ride someone pointed out to me the real reason everyone liked the colour pattern of my suit, uh its see through and very revealing from behind apparently!!!!! Skinsuits are better left for the track I think..........;)
All Comments
Plain black Knicks
Plain Santini or Uno single coloured jersey
Plain socks
Shoes and helmet with no brand name
The big difference of the sleeper is that he looks quiet and not pro till he passes you at an average speed the likes you could never concieve does not hold wheels as that would slow him down and does not stop for a 4 dollar coffee when he can have instant at home
note: a hot shot sleeper will 99% look pro, regardless if he is wearing a non matching kit due to their position on the bike, and the way they pedal.
I agree, the sleeper is out there. Often he is a convert from another endurance sport (i.e. running) and has 6-12 months hardcore cycling under his belt. Despite his apparent unproness he can surprise you with a withering attack up a short shallow hill. Some sleepers have been known to put out up to 500 watts for as long as 5 minutes. It's not unheard of for sleepers to sport fury legs in the infancy of their switch to cycling
So, to tone down the above:
- shoes - comfort is the key. Any colour is fine - no-one cares. Try them on.
- black shorts are acceptable (high quality, bib only), and will actually help create more versatile wardrobe, as they won't clash with any jersey.
- pro colours are fine - but the more subtle the better.
- socks - anklets are fine. It's actually "Australian" to wear short socks. Only Euro-wannabees wear high socks here.
- avoid world colours and lance colours - not deserved and not worth it.
- helmet - cheap does look bad, so above advise is good.
My advice is to just relax and enjoy your riding. There's so much to learn about the actual riding that the clothing side of it will just take care of itself.
http://members.tripod.com/geert_pc/slang.htm#Di...
then you can at least "talk it up" ;)
- plain black bibshorts - or even woollen shorts if one is truly hardcore - are allowable combinations (indeed the only combinations) with an old school wool long or short sleeve jersey (save for Molteni replicas which are prohibited); and
- wired spectacles are allowable IF one accompanies it with a Laurent Fignon-style receding hairline and ponytail.
Not PRO > Dork!
CT - I'm pretty certain I saw you on the boulevard last night. o2 kits look good!
Thanks - the new O2 kit is Over-The-Top PRO (so pro that I can barely handle it!)
http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2009/10/this-ju...
My reasoning was that I only needed 1 pair of shoes. Glad I got over being a tight arse, cause the instant power gain from getting carbon road shoes and pedals was huge, as was the instant 'pro feeling' haha.
All very funny stuff WW, can we have a weekly 'Looking Pro' post, there is so much good humour and banter in them.
Has anyone seen the Phil Anderson look alike riding Beach Road recently? circa 80's fluoro frame, White Bell Helmet, long curly brown hair.
There was a dude rocking a very retro bright green GAN top in the NRR ride I think yesterday.
It's like there's an underground BFB (Bring Flouro Back) or FOR (Flouro or Die) movement afoot.
Homemade one piece white lycra TT suit...with no padding or double thickness material where it should be...
Not a good sight when he's excited to see the shop boys turn up for coffee and is on for a chat...
Arrr, well do I delight upon gazing with amazement at that fellow pirate and adventurer of the high-tarmac, Cippolini. He was the business. In other words, he was, The Balls.
If you wear high cut socks, you will be like Big Talls Socks Brett.
Your failure to include the King Pirate Sunglasses of them all - the M Frame - does bespeek ill of your taste Sir. I shall allow this one glaring oversight, only once. Otherwise, prepare to be boarded and surrender yonder booty, arrrrr.
ARRRRRRRR.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uit88dOQ1n4
who is this guy wearing black socks and black SPD mountain shoes? he's such a poser...what a noob!
Pro but wanker alert - white arm warmers
Not Pro - yellow Netti rain jacket
and "shan't" rather than "shalln't"
great post, thanks!
DMT shoes so 2005
White shoes are now out and replaced by yellow or red shoes
youre so last year
Shoes and socks on order. It won't happen again sir.
;-)
Additional information on how to look Pro.
I started bunch rides with Illawarra Cycle Club on a flat bar Avanti commuter wearing mtb shoes and a t shirt, and a red $60 mtb helmet with a VISOR!!! Ewwww. But they let me in and I've never looked back. Of course, over time I've learned to look PRO - and now that I've got my 5 new descent black bibs, white special edition Liquigas SIDI's and new road helmet (cost $200) I'm feelin' pretty PRO!
Great post CT. Best humour post in a while
Please GOD make Christmas a reality, as the wife will not allow any more bike related purchases.
Honest I have been Good!
To get the green light on endless cycling related expenses you need to make sure that your wife is having fun while you're cycling. This is not easy, but can be achieved. I recommend encouraging your wife to do her favourite things during the times you're out on the bike (i.e. shopping) Send her out with the credit card while you head off on the bike. If you're lucky like me you might even be married to a window shopper who doesn't spend any money. Once she gets used to these regular shopping trips she'll feel compelled to keep all your cycling needs met. She may even get up to speed on PRO cycling apparel and do your cycling shopping for you. If so, all the better.
Long live the sleeper, he's out there somewhere.
Now I don't look PRO. God.
Team sponsors change seasonally. But yes agree must be some association there.
Any jersey with unashamed bike branding Not PRO.
Not PRO - Hairy Legs
PRO - Smooth, shiny and tanned calves :)
This used to be the PRO way,train in leg & arm warmers unless very very hot,many still say keep on the leg warmers up to at least 20C.
A big no is embrocation for training,leg warmers it mst be
Your logo is pretty sweet CT and I'd gladly give you some free advertising while also looking seriously Euro Pro...
I can say that the kit will have a retro flavor to it with all PRO considerations taken into the design. Anyone will look good in it!
This extends down to the bike level an includes the shaving of legs. Cycling is about matching your appearence and gear to your performance. There should be a series of performance tests done when we purchase key aspects of clothing or bike gear - For exampe to upgrade your gearing from Ultegra to Dura-Ace you should have to reach a VO2 max of 63.
One must always strive to maintain a performance level in check with the gear. All power to the Apollo's, old School Malvern Stars & hard rubbish bikes who can out perform the Pro Clad >$5000 Carbon Roadies.
Each rider must find their own comfort zone in the price v's performace stakes ...but its really uncool to look the goods and ride like crap
Looking uber PRO - talent or speed = tool
I only look better than I am because I know how to shop for a bargain. It's gotten my ass kicked on group rides because I look too fast for my abilities.
BUT, it is a bit of a confidence boost when riding alone.
I also think that one must avoid Jerseys matching one's bike brand. This is an instant sign of a Fred. The exception is if one is a current world road racing champion who has signed with a factory road team.
another tip is to wear a vest, to hide the moderate beer gut from winter hibernation ;-)
you forgot about stem length mr tips ;-)
White Shoe Covers matching rest of team kit = PRO
As mentioned before, white shoes are so gone!!! Pros were wearing them because they were given, or got paid to wear them...
And, sorry, your socks are way too long. Trust me, I am a friend!
But bloody hell, where did you get those calf muscles from???
Cheers,
A.
But WW, why is only on the back of the long sleeve jersey, and not on the short sleeve or windvest of the new O2 kit???
Having the most stand out colored bike in the peloton in bright red and yellow, and matching it with similar colored gloves and shoes - Extreme PRO
Campagnolo - PRO
Shimano or SRAM - so far from PRO
SRM - Rich!!!!!!!!
Campag schmampag. It's not going to save you this weekend. Or up the Tourmalet in L'Etape.
Are they Pro or not.
The gaper.
The person who wears non-bibbed knicks and then proceeds to show all and sundry the gap between the top of the (usually plain black Netti) knicks and ill fitting jersey.
Particularly horrendous if donned by a Hairy Man Back.
*shudder*
The gaper is a travesty best eliminated from the roads, our lexicon and memories!
I shall also submit the Bum Mesher.
This is the person who thinks it is acceptable, nay, desirable (!) to wear knicks with a cutout above the top of the derriere crack, with a mesh insert in the hope that they may evacuate the hot air away from said bottom crack. Always forgetting the poor souls left in their wake, their eyes irrevocably drawn to That Hole, *shudder*, which despite your best efforts, has the same gravitational pull strength of a black hole, but without the blissful ending (destruction into anti matter) because you are stuck Wishing, Hoping, that that person will move Out Of The Way.
HORRIBLE.
Respectfully,
timbo
May I also submit the 'See Through Bum'
Usually an older rider; a sleeper; someone whom is getting back on the saddle after a hiatus; or someone whom has no regard for themselves or fellow riders; - This person rides with a pair of well worn knicks which have been owned for centuries and have been through the wash more times than they've had rides. These knicks are usually transparent allowing those behind to see all and sundry and in direct sunlight you can see what one has had for breakfast. Usually cheaper brand knicks or lighter colours are culprits, however 'See Through Bum' does not discriminate.
Not changing your knicks every season or two - Not PRO!
The See Through is, to be sure, a travesty of nature, however, I think we can all agree, if it's a particularly attractive member of the fairer, gentler sex, then we can of course, make an exception, can we not?
But now the choice is a new helmet or new tyres. Curses!!
A serious question: how do I know when to replace my knicks? I've come back to cycling after buying a decent bike for my budget for my daily commutes and I've got some 3/4 length knicks. I like to think I take proper care of them, washing them after each ride in wool wash. I don't want to be one of the dreaded bum meshers - ick!!
and if you want to look fully euro pro you must abide to these guide lines